10 Signs You May Be in an Abusive Relationship
There is a high probability that either someone you know and love - or you yourself - are in or have been in an abusive relationship. The statistics are shocking: 1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime – many a number of times. One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute. On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner.
There are often subtle signs to start with and these can be hard to spot. An abusive relationship does not only or even consist of physical abuse. Many women experience no physical abuse but purely emotional abuse which many say is more destructive than physical abuse.
1. Jealousy
2. Kept isolated from family and friends, monitoring where you are going, who you are seeing, your phone calls and text messages
3. The abuser is charming one minute, abusive the next – this can be an ongoing pattern and the good times can last anywhere between a few hours to several months before the abuse then reoccurs.
4. Physical violence – punching, hitting, slapping, biting etc
5. Belittling you and putting you down.
6. Shouting at you, calling you names, criticising, mocking, and threatening you in words.
7. Controlling the finances enabling them to control how you spend money, if you can leave or stay or make decisions
8. Constantly checking up on what you are doing. They may follow you and check your phone calls etc
9. Being sexually abusive. Forcing you to have sex, forcing you to have sex in a way you do not want to. Anything that feels wrong to you
10. After the abuse, telling you it was your fault, that you caused it to happen and that it will never happen again. Begging for forgiveness.
Please remember that women are at greatest risk of being murdered at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner. Get help - contact a local women’s shelter or refuge or a domestic violence centre if you suspect you’re being abused and would like help.